No Regrets

For five weeks during Lent we are studying Luke 15. This past Sunday I preached about the elder brother in the story and how I can relate. Thanks to everyone who has given me feedback and shared with me some of your stories as well. I've embedded some words from Sister Joan Chittister who has some great things to say about the subject of our past and "no regrets."

We Are Shaped by the Past by Joan Chittister
The past colors the way we look at today and think about tomorrow. It forms our very definition of ourselves.

The past never, ever really leaves any of us. All of us come from something — an alcoholic home, incest, embarrassing poverty, perhaps. That’s why it is so important, both to our spiritual life and to our psychological well-being, that we come to be able to sing our alleluias about it.

The past stores up inside us a veritable gallery of models from which we draw life patterns yet. I remember from my own past the woman down the hall with diabetes who lay in her bed day after day, legs long gone, but smiling as she crocheted blankets for the
rest of the family. She stays in my heart, reminder of the fact that it is possible to suffer the worst and never sour under it.

I remember the deaf young man down the street who taught me sign language because he had no one to talk to, and whose sign language alphabet card I keep in my Bible yet to remind me that no one comes into your life unless you reach out to them.

I remember the gruff old man who sat on a stool in the alley swearing at children as they walked wide circles around him and from whom they all learned to swear back.

They walk with me, these ghosts from the past, smiling at me, signing to me, warning me that it is possible to isolate myself in a small, mean world and to take others with me there if I want to live a world unto myself.

Indeed, the past is a storehouse of the memories that have formed us and shaped us and prepared us for worlds far beyond the one in which we grew.

But the past is even more than its treasury of the yesterdays that marked us with their sadness and deprivations and struggles and lingering flashes of the first meanings of love. The past is all we know of the possibilities we each harbor within us. The past burns into our flesh, like a flaming brand, the awareness that what we have survived before, bested before, done before, we can do again.

The best proof we have against destruction and despair is our memories of having wrestled with life before now — and prevailed. These are what sustain the young woman, a long-ago incest victim, who begins to recognize as part of her healing that, whatever the trauma she’s been through, she is, after all, a survivor. These are what go with the man who withstood taunts about his thick glasses from the other children in school to become the class valedictorian years later, who knows that he has been freed of any allegiance to the emotional control of others. These are the mainstay of the young widow who was raised by her widowed mother and knows that she can do it, too, and that her children will be no worse developed by the specter of the broken family because she herself is not.

Why bother to remember the past? Because the past is the one proof we have that the present is possible.

In the final analysis, then, the past is an alleluia for graces then unknown and now full of meaning. “Even though you intended to do harm to me,” Joseph says to the brothers who, out of rivalry for their father’s love, sold him into slavery in Egypt, “God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today. So have no fear; I myself will provide for you and your little ones.”

Every moment of life is an alleluia moment for the past. One of the major graces of life is to come to realize that.

– from Uncommon Gratitude: Alleluia for All That Is by Joan Chittister and Archbishop Rowan Williams (Liturgical Press)

Last week I lead a discussion called "Living the Questions" where we talked about Faith as a Journey, moving us from certainty to the complexities and peace of faith. Our next discussion is Sunday April 18th at the main campus of Our Saviour's Lutheran Church. As we discussed faith as a journey I briefly brought up the spiritual tool of labyrinths. I find it easier to pray while my feet are moving and particularly like to walk the outdoor labyrinths at Marionjoy rehabilitation center off of Roosevelt Road in Wheaton as well as at the Theosophical Center off of Main Street in Wheaton. There's even one on the Riverwalk in downtown Naperville. There's a website where you can buy labyrinths and although I do not endorse them, they do have some helpful pictures and information, some of which I have enclosed. I would be happy to talk to anyone about walking a labyrinth. Cheers to life and faith as a journey!

What Is A Labyrinth?
Labyrinths are ancient human symbols known to go back at least 3500 years and probably much older. They appeared on most inhabited continents in prehistory, with examples known from North & South America, Africa, Asia and across Europe from the Mediterranean to Scandinavia. The labyrinth symbol was incorporated into the floors of the great Gothic pilgrimage cathedrals of France in the twelfth & thirteenth centuries. The most famous extant design is the example in the nave floor of the Cathedral of Notre Dame de Chartres outside of Paris. This labyrinth was built of honey colored limestone with marble lines around the year 1200 and is now over 800 years old.

Why Do We Walk Labyrinths?
A labyrinth is not a maze, but a walking meditation device with a single winding path from the edge to the center. There are no tricks, choices or dead ends in a labyrinth walk. The same path is used to return to the outside. Combining a number of even older symbols, including the circle, spiral and meander, the labyrinth represents the journey inward to our own true selves and back out into the everyday world.

Walking a labyrinth is a right brain activity (creative, intuitive, imaginative), and can induce or enhance a contemplative or meditative state of mind. It is a tool which can clear the mind, calm our anxieties during periods of transition and stress, guide healing, deepen self-knowledge, enhance creativity, allow for reconciliation, restore feelings of belonging to a community, and lead to personal and spiritual growth.

For many walkers the labyrinth becomes a metaphor for the journey of life: although full of twists and turns, each of us is on a single path through his or her life, and yet each person's journey is a separate and distinct qualitative experience. In walking labyrinths, modern seekers are emulating and recapturing the pilgrimage tradition of many ancient faiths.

Impact

I came home one day and my husband started talking about shopping more at Whole Foods. I have always loved Whole Foods. When I was younger, after church on Sundays, my family often "browsed" Whole Foods, smelling all the great and unique coffee beans and other foods. We were told smell but don't touch! We didn't buy anything but I didn't care, I loved it there. For special occasions, now as an adult, I'll try to buy yummy cheeses or meats or fruits and veggies there, and try to keep a poker face when I look at the receipt at the checkout. I have found that one good meal at Whole Foods can easily be half of my entire week's grocery bills shopping somewhere else. So when my husband all of a sudden passionately talked about our "need" to start shopping at Whole Foods more, I thought, "are you serious? I'm finally getting this coupon thing down to a science and keeping our grocery bills down." Then he had me watch the movie, Food Inc.. Enough said, we're shopping at Whole Foods as much as we can now. Our budget is taking a hit, but it's a justice issue for us now; not a matter of "better eating" as much as it is about fair labor laws and treatment of humans and animals alike. Knowing where our food comes from amounts to how we "treat our neighbor as ourselves." And although I can't write off my Whole Foods receipt as a charitable tax deduction; as long as I'm not splurging on the triple layered mouse dessert I feel like our new shopping routine is much less about luxury and more about a sustainable life for all life.

Living the Questions

I remember in High School asking a friend the question, "If the Jews are God's Chosen People then what does that make Christians?" I was a member of the Christian Student Union, and the boy I was asking was the leader of it. Not only was I excited to get into such theological debates because I respected his opinion but also because I had a huge crush on him and wanted to know him better. I don't remember exactly what he said, even though I can remember asking the question.

After four 1/2 years of seminary and six years as on ordained minister I'm stilling asking that question, amongst many others. In fact I just asked someone I respected that exact question the other day. He said that since God's promise was to Sarah and Abraham, that the promise belongs to all of Abraham and Sarah's descendents--Jews, Christians and Muslims. I had never thought about it that way, and told him I would have to think about that.

The third Sunday every other month, starting this February 21st I'll be leading a class where we can "live the questions," called... Living the Questions! It's a time where I hope we can grow in understanding, join in healthy conversation, and not always walk away with answers but always come to love God more. As a pastor I have always thought of myself as a midwife who helps people journey through the hard labor of new life. Come join me 11:30 in the Bonhoeffer Conference Room in the main campus February 21st as we labor together in faith. I'll see you there!

Sacred Envy

I had a great time co-teaching our Epiphany University class called "Can I Call My Neighbor Friend? Muslim/Christian Dialogue" I feel like we engaged in really good conversation about how we as Christians "can love our neighbors as ourselves." Hearing my co-teacher Ruth Nelson's personal passion, learning from Dr. Mark Swanson chair of Muslim-Christian Relations at the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago and dialoguing with four Muslim neighbors is a step in the right direction. I am encouraged to hear how people around the world are doing the same on a much larger scale. I particularly like the idea of a class called "Sacred Envy," I'll have to keep that in mind...


In December 2009, Melbourne, Australia hosted the Parliament of World’s Religions, a global dialogue of faiths. Sister Joan Chittister, longtime champion of peace, human rights and gender equality attended the Parliament and spoke with AWID (Association for Women’s Rights in Development) to share her perspectives on what the Parliament proceedings mean for women. Here are two responses of hers from a much longer interview...

by Masum Momaya
Sister Joan what was the personal highlight of the Parliament for you?
Sister Joan Chittister: The Parliament of the World’s Religions is a living icon for which we all hope. It is a diorama of many peoples, all of whom express a different face of the Divine, all of them united in holiness, in common commitment to the entire human community, and all knowing themselves to be one in God. This was the highlight for me. Just watching this flow of goodness sweeping back and forth across the great foyer and down the halls of the Melbourne Conference Center was a kind of spiritual vision for me. To see this is to know that wars of religion are both a scandal and an impossibility and that the Parliament is a holy and necessary step to a future without religious wars or theocratic oppression.

Sister Joan what were some "takeaways" that stood out to you in terms of dialogues?
S.J.C.: I participated in a panel on "Sacred Envy." Each of us panelists was asked to describe what we loved about our own religion and about each of the others. Then we were permitted to ask one another the question that most plagued us about another of the religions represented there. It was an impacting moment to hear real questions asked—about freedom of religion in theocratic states or the connection between religion and politics, for instance—and answered without defensiveness and with real depth. It proved the possibility of real interfaith discussion when the discussants talk openly and honestly about the struggles of the faith rather than either defend or decry the concerns of the other. It modeled an important role for religious figures in the modern state.

Never ending

By the time I got to work I had taken off my boot three times, shaking it out, hoping to get the tiny rock that seemed to be irritating my foot every time I took a step. The third time around I realized the little rock was stuck inside my hose and not just my shoe. I had no interest in taking off my hose, searching for the rock, getting it out and putting the hose all back on, so I decided to make a spiritual practice of it. With the devastation and lack of any comforts in Haiti, I decided that with each step that irritated me feeling this rock in my hose/shoes I would remember the people in Haiti and keep them in prayer. Turns out I prayed for the people of Haiti regularly and throughout the day. By the time I had picked up my daughter and made it home, I was ready to remove every speck of dust, rock and you name it off of my wood floors so I could walk barefoot and not worry about trapping another "rock" the next morning when I got dressed- lest I have to be irritated and prayerful all day long. With my daughter comfy in her wrap close to my chest we set about vacuuming every nook and cranny of the house. When we were done, and the vacuum was back in the closet, as I walked around the house, I came upon more "little rocks" under my feet. And all I could think is that the suffering in our world is never ending. This doesn't mean to never vacuum or pray or try to make a dent in it-- but our attitude towards those in need takes repeated help and more than just a one time fix me up kind of thing. So thankfully without a rock in my shoe today, here's to continued remembering and praying for all those in need, especially the Larson family who you can read about at the following link...

http://www.elca.org/Who-We-Are/Our-Three-Expressions/Churchwide-Organization/Communication-Services/News/Releases.aspx?a=4403

SHINE

Here we are in the season of Epiphany when the Magi brought gifts to Jesus by following the light of God. Here's to a season where all of us are called to, "go easy, be filled with light, and to shine!"


"When I Am Among the Trees" by Mary Oliver

When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the tree stir in their leaves
and call out, 'Stay awhile."
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine."

Christmas Blessing

I feel blessed that our Evangelical Lutheran Church of America is lead by our Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson. He certainly loves Jesus.
The first time I met Bishop Hanson was in the elevator. We were both working at the Churchwide Offices in Park Ridge, and we were both headed downstairs for midweek morning worship when he realized he wasn't wearing his nametag. In his cleric and huge Bishop's cross around his neck, I told him not to worry, that people would know he's the Bishop. Frustrated, he responded more to himself then me, when he said almost under his breath, "But if I expect others to wear it, I need to wear it too." I have a feeling Bishop Hanson takes wearing his nametag so seriously, not because people won't recognize him otherwise, but because he sees the value in those with power being aligned with those who have less power. In fact, I've seen Bishop Hanson's servant heart on a variety of occasions and he is concerned about the working poor, about women's issues, about children, education, healthcare, and rights for gays and lesbians. This is why I highly recommend either reading or watching his short Christmas Blessing. If you have never seen him before I think you'll sense in his voice, his eyes and his demeanor, the servant of God who is leading our church.

http://www.elca.org/Who-We-Are/Our-Three-Expressions/Churchwide-Organization/Office-of-the-Presiding-Bishop/Messages-and-Statements/091206christmas.aspx

What We Need

What we need always seems in competition with what we want. I'm starting to think that much of our life's journey is about either balancing the two, or if it is possible, trying to merge our needs into our wants or wants into needs? Does that make sense?

I'm teaching this class on the Magi from Matthew 2. I've been working on it for awhile now, and everytime I work on it, it puts a smile on my face. A smile because I can't seem to get over what Matthew meant for it to say and what it has become in our culture. It just brings to light for me the power of perception and power.

Frankly I want everyone to hear the message the Gospel writer is trying to get across-- I can't get over how powerful it has been for me. At it's most basic level it reminds me that what we want isn't always what we need and that God remains faithful continually showing us our needs.

If you can make it, the classes are at the main campus of Our Saviour's in the Nelson Fellowship Center, Sunday December 13th at 9 and 10:10 am and Tuesday Dec. 15th at 9:30pm. Hope to see you there!

Advent

Here might be a new way to think about Advent this year...the fact that "its coming depends on us."

From my heroine, Sister Joan Chittister in her book "The Liturgical Year"

"It is while waiting for the coming of the reign of God, Advent after Advent, that we come to realize that its coming depends on us. What we do will either hasten or slow, sharpen or dim our own commitment to do our part to bring it.

Waiting — that cold, dry period of life when nothing seems to be enough and something else beckons within us — is the grace that Advent comes to bring. It stands before us, within us, pointing to the star for which the wise ones from the East are only icons of ourselves.

We all want something more. Advent asks the question, what is it for which you are spending your life? What is the star you are following now? And where is that star in its present radiance in your life leading you? Is it a place that is really comprehensive enough to equal the breadth of the human soul?"

Practice

After years and years of practice I think I'm finally becoming a grateful person. It took me almost a whole year of remembering/forgetting to bring cloth grocery bags with me to the store before I remembered them every time I went...so why not 33 years before I can say thanks for the small stuff?!

Every day since my daughter's birth I have been grateful to be able to provide for her needs. Since returning to work I have made the most of my time "bottling milk" by catching up on my reading. I just finished a short but powerful book by Henri Nouwen called "With Open Hands." It is profound and inspiring and I plan to read it over and over again. It has me praying and thanking God more often, in simple, regular ways. I find myself being more conversational with God-- which isn't completely new to me, but something I needed to get back in the habit of doing. I recommend ANYTHING Henri Nouwen to folks-- and here's just a brief snipit of the book, it's actually the closing prayer...

"Dear God, I do not know where you are leading me. I do not even know what my next day, my next week, or my next year will look like. As I try to keep my hands open, I trust that you will put your hand in mine and bring me home. Thank you, God for your love. Thank you. Amen."

What did you say?

Is it true children have the ear of God? I was teaching a Children’s Chapel at our Children’s Center recently and was proud of what I heard come from the lips of one of our preschoolers. I brought my 10 week old daughter, Sophia, to meet the other kids. Ms. Sharon the director of the Center was holding Sophia and showing her off to the kids while I stood off to the side along the gym wall, waiting to teach chapel. Ms. Sharon asked the kids, “Do you know who Sophia belongs to?” And a young girl spoke up, saying, “God!” “Yes,” Ms. Sharon said, “Sophia belongs to God. She is also the daughter of Pastor Janelle and Brad Hooper.” What a gift—to be reminded that our children belong to God and us. That we are entrusted with these gifts, this miracle of life; and that we too, as adults are children of God.! Thanks be to God for the Good News our children teach us—we belong to God!
And thanks be to God for the valuable teaching opportunities provided by Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church and the Children’s Center. In “Baptized We Live” Daniel Erlander says that we are all shaped by some story, and that baptism provides “storied waters” for our lives. Also, that we are not alone as parents in shaping the faith lives of our children but that it is the church community, responding “yes” at the baptismal ceremony that also promises to help our children grow in faith. What a gift that at both of our campuses, through church school and preschool, our kids are growing in faith and teaching us something about belonging to God!

Can't let go

I love Texas, but after 18 years I needed to get out. Next thing I know I am standing in an Eddie Bauer store in Syracuse, New York with my dad and brother looking for a coat to help me through my first Northern winter. With little thought to fashion, my brother helped me pick out a mens down coat. I lovingly refer to it as my Marshmellowman coat. It's dark red on the outside and navy on the inside with lots of helpful pockets. In fact, while at Syracuse University, I often saw several guys wearing my jacket.
It was a good jacket, and in fact still is...11 years later. But for awhile now, actually from the beginning, I haven't been fond of how the jacket looks. There's nothing about it that cries "funky" or "feminine" just "warmth"-- which "hey" in a bad New York or Chicago winter isn't a bad thing.
But now that I'm 33, I'd like something that fits my station in life. And since the coat is still in good condition, even after literally traveling the world with me when I studied abroad, I thought I would donate it to the Celebration Clinic that is looking for good winter coats every year. However for three years running, I have taken out that winter coat, looked at it, decided I still can't stand the way it looks, but thought to myself "it still works" and couldn't justify getting rid of it. I know when you donate something it needs to be in good condition so I didn't want to hold onto the jacket until it became a rag-- but I couldn't do it. Last year I even got so far as bringing the coat to work and keeping it in my office for several weeks, meaning to take it down to Celebration. But all I ended up doing was taking it home. Maybe it's because now I'm a mamma, and I feel like I have entered a new phase in my life. I decided I could give up the coat in good condition-- and let go of those college memories and European travel memories and step into something new-- and even spend money doing it! I tell you though, as I laid that coat gently in the bin outside the back door at Celebration, without hesitation I had a sending ceremony for it. And I said a blessing that it might be a good warm coat for someone who needs it.
Silly how hard it was to let it go, even when I never really liked it. And surprising I couldn't do it without a blessing. And that was just a coat!

2 for 1

I'm trying to grow in my preaching. As a preacher I'm still trying to be more creative and to find my voice. So I'm reading a sermon a day by renowned author and preacher Barbara Brown Taylor--who is an amazing word-illustrator of scripture. I hope you notice a change in my sermons... for the better!

Free the Imagination

The last few years I've wanted to be more imaginative, more creative. I bought some art supplies and fiddle around with them, daring not to try to create people or scenes, just following my heart and what feels good. I don't want to "try" I just want to "be." Now with a 7 week old daughter I have society's "excuse" to be silly in public or make up rhyming songs. I found myself the other day making up a story from scratch to tell Sophia. Even though she was my only audience it felt very freeing to make up a story, with whatever came to mind, and not be judged by it or not to judge it myself-- just to tell it.
Some of my favorite preachers, like Barbara Brown Taylor are so creative. She keeps the Bible in 3D, so that the words and the stories, the plots and the people don't fall flat. I want to know the Bible so well that I can see through and below and in and around the text to reveal parts of the story that need to not just be told but held. So I am reading a Barbara Brown Taylor sermon every day, hence reading the Bible every day and taking notes. And I'm praying not so much to be like her, but opening myself up so God can help me be more like me!

Leaves you thinking...

This is my last blog for a few weeks while I am on maternity LEAVE. I hope ya'll tune back in come October when I am back, but until then, I wanted to LEAVE you thinking...


I saw the movie "The Hurt Locker" recently. It's about a bomb squad unit in the middle east, that goes out to diffuse bombs to keep people safe. When Brad read me the movie blurb I couldn't say I was that excited (I don't usually jump for war movies) but Brad and I are trying to get in as many movies as possible before the baby comes.

The movie was engrossing. For the whole first hour I thought I was going to have a heart attack, (or at least my water was going to break!) because I was so drawn in by the servicemen--their sacrifice and their humanity.

After the movie I couldn't even hardly talk all the way home. I was moved, I still am. I kept thinking in my head, we have to stop war so people don't have to sacrifice their lives like this. I don't know how to stop war. The beginning of the movie starts with a quote that says "war is a drug." I pray, I write my congressperson, but I don't know how it's going to stop. Greg Mortenson has a great idea in his book "Three Cups of Tea" about education fighting terrorism. I don't want to take my freedoms for granted. I try to make a difference with my life. I wonder as a pastor as a Christian what to do...

I am pregnant with life, I want the world to be too. It all LEAVES me thinking...

Chocolate

So isn't it just my luck to be shown pregnant eating ice cream with my eyes glued to all the yummies at the chocolate shop?! Graham's chocolates makes some of the best yummies, and they are Lutheran owned! I had no problem giving them two thumbs up (or a lick on my ice cream cone) for the camera.

I was diagnosed as having a dairy allergy a few years ago, but ever since I've been pregnant I've been downing white milk, chocolate milk, and ice cream like it's going out of style. I hope this is one of the benefits of pregnancy that lasts after the kid is born-- at least that's what I am bargaining with God about lately.

Showered and good to go!

I know people like to make fun of the term "showered" when it comes to baby (or wedding) showers. People bring soap on a rope and such and talk about getting all cleaned up. But "showered" is pretty much the way I feel by my church family. I feel showered with blessings, showered with love, showered with generosity so much so that I feel soaked in gratitude for people's support and excitment over the upcoming birth of our baby.

In baptismal prep class I talk about "walking wet" in the world. I get up and make funny "slop slop" sounds as I walk around the room (something I learned on internship) as a way to think about us always soaking wet in our baptismal waters and how that shapes how we walk in the world.

We are a "showered" people with many blessings. One of the most faithful things we can do is live as a grateful people, aware that God has filled us to overflowing and then go out and walk wet in the world sharing that generosity with others. My hope is to shower others!!

Brothers

Ah... growing up with two older brothers wasn't always easy. They sat on me and told me I didn't look like the rest of the family. A few times we were physically fighting I truly thought I was going to die. When they ordered the three stack hamburger at Wendy's I had to do the same... and finish it. Now they have kids and I'm the baby sister who is 8months+ pregnant. They brought me chocolate and helped with the nursery. They let me put my feet up. One lives in Michigan and the other in Switzerland so I don't get this treatment all the time, but who knew... brothers. :)

Gotta have it first!

The Spirit is blowing and I'm doing my best to "Get in the way of the wind." Kari, our dynamic new Youth Specialist is offering a discipleship opportunity for our high school girls with a three week Bible Study on "loving." I had the opportunity to hang out with these lovely ladies this past week and feel the Spirit breezing through the student center. One of the ladies there, Lindsey, reminded us of the importance of loving ourselves as "practicing love" for others. I thought that was great. Goes back to that Biblical core value of "love others, as you LOVE YOURSELF." Nothing like being reminded that we can't offer others what we don't have in our own hearts, and being challenged to love beyond what we think we are capable of because of God's love abiding in us and empowering us to love that generously. Here's to experiencing God so deeply in our lives, taking moments to feel the wind on our face(the Ruach of God)that because God first loves us, and we LOVE OURSELVES, that we can then love others.