Reflections on John 21:15-19

I have a hard time being an apologetic; reciting scripture to “prove” what God is saying through the Bible. I cling to my Lutheran heritage that relies on the mystery and promises of God. I’ve seen too many liturgical wars, salvation wars, even military wars fought over different interpretations of the Bible, that I feel very uncomfortable claiming TRUTH.
Some might say this makes me a bad pastor. Personally I think I’m in good company—Simon Peter, the Rock, and I have something in common, something I think all of us share--our humanity.
Here’s Rock—the one who gets more prominence than any other of the disciples because he has the loudest mouth. Talk about the squeeky wheel gets the oil, that’s Rock. Rock is always out to prove his faith… I’ll never deny you Jesus! So Jesus says ok—you’re such a Rock are you? We’ll tonight before the cock crows twice you will have denied even knowing me, THREE times.
We’ll lucky for Rock, we serve a forgiving God. A God who not only sees our human sides but made us human—on purpose! So when Jesus comes back to life, he shows up to Rock and instead of shoving it in his face saying—Rock, really? What do you think of me now…. Jesus gently reminds him… THREE times nonetheless who has power over life and death, who is the TRUTH that will se us free, who truly is the ROCK that we build our lives upon. Then Jesus gives Rock another chance. Can you believe it? A second chance to love God, and to serve God’s children, God’s sheep who need direction. God uses the big mouth who denied him publicly to still be the one to spread the Good News.
Jesus calls us to follow. Not to be perfect, not even to be Jesus—but to be ourselves, knowing fully well that means being human.
When I encourage people to follow Jesus, it’s not because I think by doing so their life will be easier, in fact the exact opposite. That’s why I think Christianity is a hard sell. I’ve never used John 21 as a witnessing tool, trying to talk people into church or becoming a follower of Christ. I mean it uses the word “love” three times but it’s anything but lovey dovey.
So it’s not that I don’t believe in Truth. I just think it’s slippery territory claiming truth by picking out texts and saying “I know! I know” Because for every three times I say, “I love you Jesus, you know that I love you” there will be a time when I deny the Truth in my life, when I deny my love for God and seek people’s approval, when I judge others, when I judge myself, when I hate others, when I hate myself… I’m only human.
So what I would rather cling to is Jesus’ words to, “Follow.” I can do that. I can follow. I also try to lead as Jesus equips and empowers me, but most importantly as we serve, as we feed the sheep, we follow. We follow Jesus’ lead. We listen, we care, we have compassion, we see injustice and we burn with anger to change it, we see hurt and we weep finding ways to heal it, we see our own brokenness and we crawl into Jesus’ arms.
Jesus was fully human so I don’t take it as a bad thing to be human—to make mistakes or to need second chances, that’s how God chose to make us. So what I will proclaim, the words I will share, truly believing in my heart, is that I love Jesus. Yes, Lord I love you. I’ll say it three times, ten times, a hundred times, as many times as it takes for God to know I mean it and more importantly for my heart to follow.

I'm just not that generous...

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Here's a "Faith Reflection" I wrote for the May ezine issue of Cafe. If any of you were at Our Saviour's Sunday night Element service-- you might see some good tie-ins. Watch out Rob Bell!

starting over

Last Sunday I preached on Sabbath rest. My colleague Pastor Mark did a great job of summing it up for the Eucharist liturgy by saying, "It's the law to rest." I'm currently reading Kathleen Norris' latest book "Acedia and Me" and I thought she had a great tie-in to the idea of Sabbath. How every week we are called to sabbath, a starting over. She writes, "To be always a beginner, in our competative culture, is to be a loser. It is to remain continually vulnerable...Because it impedes my illusory forward movement, having to begin again can feel like failure. It reminds me that work I thought finished must be redone, and I resent being reminded of the transitory nature of all things...as a person of faith I am always beginning again with prayer. I can never learn these things, once and for all, and master them. I can only perform them, set them aside, and then start over."

Here's to starting over, every Sabbath! To never mastering faith, but finding time to rest in God and start again and again and again.