SHINE

Here we are in the season of Epiphany when the Magi brought gifts to Jesus by following the light of God. Here's to a season where all of us are called to, "go easy, be filled with light, and to shine!"


"When I Am Among the Trees" by Mary Oliver

When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the tree stir in their leaves
and call out, 'Stay awhile."
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine."

Christmas Blessing

I feel blessed that our Evangelical Lutheran Church of America is lead by our Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson. He certainly loves Jesus.
The first time I met Bishop Hanson was in the elevator. We were both working at the Churchwide Offices in Park Ridge, and we were both headed downstairs for midweek morning worship when he realized he wasn't wearing his nametag. In his cleric and huge Bishop's cross around his neck, I told him not to worry, that people would know he's the Bishop. Frustrated, he responded more to himself then me, when he said almost under his breath, "But if I expect others to wear it, I need to wear it too." I have a feeling Bishop Hanson takes wearing his nametag so seriously, not because people won't recognize him otherwise, but because he sees the value in those with power being aligned with those who have less power. In fact, I've seen Bishop Hanson's servant heart on a variety of occasions and he is concerned about the working poor, about women's issues, about children, education, healthcare, and rights for gays and lesbians. This is why I highly recommend either reading or watching his short Christmas Blessing. If you have never seen him before I think you'll sense in his voice, his eyes and his demeanor, the servant of God who is leading our church.

http://www.elca.org/Who-We-Are/Our-Three-Expressions/Churchwide-Organization/Office-of-the-Presiding-Bishop/Messages-and-Statements/091206christmas.aspx

What We Need

What we need always seems in competition with what we want. I'm starting to think that much of our life's journey is about either balancing the two, or if it is possible, trying to merge our needs into our wants or wants into needs? Does that make sense?

I'm teaching this class on the Magi from Matthew 2. I've been working on it for awhile now, and everytime I work on it, it puts a smile on my face. A smile because I can't seem to get over what Matthew meant for it to say and what it has become in our culture. It just brings to light for me the power of perception and power.

Frankly I want everyone to hear the message the Gospel writer is trying to get across-- I can't get over how powerful it has been for me. At it's most basic level it reminds me that what we want isn't always what we need and that God remains faithful continually showing us our needs.

If you can make it, the classes are at the main campus of Our Saviour's in the Nelson Fellowship Center, Sunday December 13th at 9 and 10:10 am and Tuesday Dec. 15th at 9:30pm. Hope to see you there!

Advent

Here might be a new way to think about Advent this year...the fact that "its coming depends on us."

From my heroine, Sister Joan Chittister in her book "The Liturgical Year"

"It is while waiting for the coming of the reign of God, Advent after Advent, that we come to realize that its coming depends on us. What we do will either hasten or slow, sharpen or dim our own commitment to do our part to bring it.

Waiting — that cold, dry period of life when nothing seems to be enough and something else beckons within us — is the grace that Advent comes to bring. It stands before us, within us, pointing to the star for which the wise ones from the East are only icons of ourselves.

We all want something more. Advent asks the question, what is it for which you are spending your life? What is the star you are following now? And where is that star in its present radiance in your life leading you? Is it a place that is really comprehensive enough to equal the breadth of the human soul?"

Practice

After years and years of practice I think I'm finally becoming a grateful person. It took me almost a whole year of remembering/forgetting to bring cloth grocery bags with me to the store before I remembered them every time I went...so why not 33 years before I can say thanks for the small stuff?!

Every day since my daughter's birth I have been grateful to be able to provide for her needs. Since returning to work I have made the most of my time "bottling milk" by catching up on my reading. I just finished a short but powerful book by Henri Nouwen called "With Open Hands." It is profound and inspiring and I plan to read it over and over again. It has me praying and thanking God more often, in simple, regular ways. I find myself being more conversational with God-- which isn't completely new to me, but something I needed to get back in the habit of doing. I recommend ANYTHING Henri Nouwen to folks-- and here's just a brief snipit of the book, it's actually the closing prayer...

"Dear God, I do not know where you are leading me. I do not even know what my next day, my next week, or my next year will look like. As I try to keep my hands open, I trust that you will put your hand in mine and bring me home. Thank you, God for your love. Thank you. Amen."

What did you say?

Is it true children have the ear of God? I was teaching a Children’s Chapel at our Children’s Center recently and was proud of what I heard come from the lips of one of our preschoolers. I brought my 10 week old daughter, Sophia, to meet the other kids. Ms. Sharon the director of the Center was holding Sophia and showing her off to the kids while I stood off to the side along the gym wall, waiting to teach chapel. Ms. Sharon asked the kids, “Do you know who Sophia belongs to?” And a young girl spoke up, saying, “God!” “Yes,” Ms. Sharon said, “Sophia belongs to God. She is also the daughter of Pastor Janelle and Brad Hooper.” What a gift—to be reminded that our children belong to God and us. That we are entrusted with these gifts, this miracle of life; and that we too, as adults are children of God.! Thanks be to God for the Good News our children teach us—we belong to God!
And thanks be to God for the valuable teaching opportunities provided by Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church and the Children’s Center. In “Baptized We Live” Daniel Erlander says that we are all shaped by some story, and that baptism provides “storied waters” for our lives. Also, that we are not alone as parents in shaping the faith lives of our children but that it is the church community, responding “yes” at the baptismal ceremony that also promises to help our children grow in faith. What a gift that at both of our campuses, through church school and preschool, our kids are growing in faith and teaching us something about belonging to God!

Can't let go

I love Texas, but after 18 years I needed to get out. Next thing I know I am standing in an Eddie Bauer store in Syracuse, New York with my dad and brother looking for a coat to help me through my first Northern winter. With little thought to fashion, my brother helped me pick out a mens down coat. I lovingly refer to it as my Marshmellowman coat. It's dark red on the outside and navy on the inside with lots of helpful pockets. In fact, while at Syracuse University, I often saw several guys wearing my jacket.
It was a good jacket, and in fact still is...11 years later. But for awhile now, actually from the beginning, I haven't been fond of how the jacket looks. There's nothing about it that cries "funky" or "feminine" just "warmth"-- which "hey" in a bad New York or Chicago winter isn't a bad thing.
But now that I'm 33, I'd like something that fits my station in life. And since the coat is still in good condition, even after literally traveling the world with me when I studied abroad, I thought I would donate it to the Celebration Clinic that is looking for good winter coats every year. However for three years running, I have taken out that winter coat, looked at it, decided I still can't stand the way it looks, but thought to myself "it still works" and couldn't justify getting rid of it. I know when you donate something it needs to be in good condition so I didn't want to hold onto the jacket until it became a rag-- but I couldn't do it. Last year I even got so far as bringing the coat to work and keeping it in my office for several weeks, meaning to take it down to Celebration. But all I ended up doing was taking it home. Maybe it's because now I'm a mamma, and I feel like I have entered a new phase in my life. I decided I could give up the coat in good condition-- and let go of those college memories and European travel memories and step into something new-- and even spend money doing it! I tell you though, as I laid that coat gently in the bin outside the back door at Celebration, without hesitation I had a sending ceremony for it. And I said a blessing that it might be a good warm coat for someone who needs it.
Silly how hard it was to let it go, even when I never really liked it. And surprising I couldn't do it without a blessing. And that was just a coat!

2 for 1

I'm trying to grow in my preaching. As a preacher I'm still trying to be more creative and to find my voice. So I'm reading a sermon a day by renowned author and preacher Barbara Brown Taylor--who is an amazing word-illustrator of scripture. I hope you notice a change in my sermons... for the better!

Free the Imagination

The last few years I've wanted to be more imaginative, more creative. I bought some art supplies and fiddle around with them, daring not to try to create people or scenes, just following my heart and what feels good. I don't want to "try" I just want to "be." Now with a 7 week old daughter I have society's "excuse" to be silly in public or make up rhyming songs. I found myself the other day making up a story from scratch to tell Sophia. Even though she was my only audience it felt very freeing to make up a story, with whatever came to mind, and not be judged by it or not to judge it myself-- just to tell it.
Some of my favorite preachers, like Barbara Brown Taylor are so creative. She keeps the Bible in 3D, so that the words and the stories, the plots and the people don't fall flat. I want to know the Bible so well that I can see through and below and in and around the text to reveal parts of the story that need to not just be told but held. So I am reading a Barbara Brown Taylor sermon every day, hence reading the Bible every day and taking notes. And I'm praying not so much to be like her, but opening myself up so God can help me be more like me!

Leaves you thinking...

This is my last blog for a few weeks while I am on maternity LEAVE. I hope ya'll tune back in come October when I am back, but until then, I wanted to LEAVE you thinking...


I saw the movie "The Hurt Locker" recently. It's about a bomb squad unit in the middle east, that goes out to diffuse bombs to keep people safe. When Brad read me the movie blurb I couldn't say I was that excited (I don't usually jump for war movies) but Brad and I are trying to get in as many movies as possible before the baby comes.

The movie was engrossing. For the whole first hour I thought I was going to have a heart attack, (or at least my water was going to break!) because I was so drawn in by the servicemen--their sacrifice and their humanity.

After the movie I couldn't even hardly talk all the way home. I was moved, I still am. I kept thinking in my head, we have to stop war so people don't have to sacrifice their lives like this. I don't know how to stop war. The beginning of the movie starts with a quote that says "war is a drug." I pray, I write my congressperson, but I don't know how it's going to stop. Greg Mortenson has a great idea in his book "Three Cups of Tea" about education fighting terrorism. I don't want to take my freedoms for granted. I try to make a difference with my life. I wonder as a pastor as a Christian what to do...

I am pregnant with life, I want the world to be too. It all LEAVES me thinking...

Chocolate

So isn't it just my luck to be shown pregnant eating ice cream with my eyes glued to all the yummies at the chocolate shop?! Graham's chocolates makes some of the best yummies, and they are Lutheran owned! I had no problem giving them two thumbs up (or a lick on my ice cream cone) for the camera.

I was diagnosed as having a dairy allergy a few years ago, but ever since I've been pregnant I've been downing white milk, chocolate milk, and ice cream like it's going out of style. I hope this is one of the benefits of pregnancy that lasts after the kid is born-- at least that's what I am bargaining with God about lately.

Showered and good to go!

I know people like to make fun of the term "showered" when it comes to baby (or wedding) showers. People bring soap on a rope and such and talk about getting all cleaned up. But "showered" is pretty much the way I feel by my church family. I feel showered with blessings, showered with love, showered with generosity so much so that I feel soaked in gratitude for people's support and excitment over the upcoming birth of our baby.

In baptismal prep class I talk about "walking wet" in the world. I get up and make funny "slop slop" sounds as I walk around the room (something I learned on internship) as a way to think about us always soaking wet in our baptismal waters and how that shapes how we walk in the world.

We are a "showered" people with many blessings. One of the most faithful things we can do is live as a grateful people, aware that God has filled us to overflowing and then go out and walk wet in the world sharing that generosity with others. My hope is to shower others!!

Brothers

Ah... growing up with two older brothers wasn't always easy. They sat on me and told me I didn't look like the rest of the family. A few times we were physically fighting I truly thought I was going to die. When they ordered the three stack hamburger at Wendy's I had to do the same... and finish it. Now they have kids and I'm the baby sister who is 8months+ pregnant. They brought me chocolate and helped with the nursery. They let me put my feet up. One lives in Michigan and the other in Switzerland so I don't get this treatment all the time, but who knew... brothers. :)

Gotta have it first!

The Spirit is blowing and I'm doing my best to "Get in the way of the wind." Kari, our dynamic new Youth Specialist is offering a discipleship opportunity for our high school girls with a three week Bible Study on "loving." I had the opportunity to hang out with these lovely ladies this past week and feel the Spirit breezing through the student center. One of the ladies there, Lindsey, reminded us of the importance of loving ourselves as "practicing love" for others. I thought that was great. Goes back to that Biblical core value of "love others, as you LOVE YOURSELF." Nothing like being reminded that we can't offer others what we don't have in our own hearts, and being challenged to love beyond what we think we are capable of because of God's love abiding in us and empowering us to love that generously. Here's to experiencing God so deeply in our lives, taking moments to feel the wind on our face(the Ruach of God)that because God first loves us, and we LOVE OURSELVES, that we can then love others.

Jesus Drives Me Nuts

My spiritual director, Pastor Jan, recommended the book "Gospel Light" by John Shea. As usual, the things she recommends speak to my soul. There's a chapter on John 2:23-3:21 with Nicodemus approaching Jesus for spiritual truths and Jesus ends up talking about where the wind blows. If I had ever met Jesus in person I think he would have driven me nuts. Jesus drives me nuts now, but at least I have time to think through what he's saying. If I had been Nicodemus I would have scrunched up my face at Jesus and been left speechless thinking, "why did I come to this guy? I don't understand a word he's saying..." I ask about eternal life, doing the right thing, how to live in this world, and Jesus talks about where the wind blows. Shea ties it all together by saying, "Hang around people who are Spirit-filled and releasing Spirit into the world...Spirit is contagious. It blows where it will. Get in the way of the wind." I am fascinated and appreciative of these remarks, "Get in the way of the wind." If we want to glimpse the Spirit, get a feel for how she works in the world, then it sounds like good advice to me to hang around people who have a sense of how to look for her. No magical formula there, just hang around people who have experience with the Spirit, who can help point out signs of the Spirit, and Get In The Way of The Wind!

Three Cups of Tea Summer Book Study discussion

So Greg Mortenson says on page 226, "There were few things he loathed more than getting up in front of a large group of people and speaking about himself." I like that in a job he "loves" there are parts of it he hates. Makes me think every job, even the ones "we love," have the parts we would rather not do.

He tells a great story about speaking to an audience of three-- two store employees of an outdoor store and one guy who stopped in for the last half of the talk that he never had a chance to meet. One of the store employees, "fished into his front pocket and handed Mortenson a ten-dollar bill. 'I was going to go out for a couple of beers after work,' he said, shuffling from foot to foot, 'but you know...' 'Thanks,' Mortenson said, sincerely...on the seat of the last chair in the last row...was an envelope...inside was a personal check for twenty-thousand dollars."

Mark 12:41-44
41 (Jesus) sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. 42 A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny. 43 Then he called his disciples and said to them, "Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. 44 For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on."

So did the store employee give more generously with his $10 then the guy with the $20,000?

Motherhood

Someone asked me to today what I am most looking forward to in regards to motherhood. I gave them a pretty truthful answer about it being the right time in our marriage, but what I really wanted to say was -- because of how much I love my husband. My husband is such a gift. He holds my hand. He makes dinner. He walks the dog faithfully. He writes thank you notes, and sympathy cards with carefully crafted words and asks me to sign "right there." He's a blessing to be around and I am looking forward to being around him as a dad. I have not one iota of doubt about his fatherhood skills, and I think having a family with him will be the most wonderful thing. I'm a pastor, I know life isn't picture perfect. I see what tears marriages and families apart. But I also have a sense of what holds them together. And for the past 5 years Brad and I have been building that glue into our marriage with God and family. I'm excited about being a mother because I'm excited about being Brad's wife-- and I know we have so much to offer as a family.

His and Hers

My favorite line from the movie "Juno" is when the prospective adoptive parents are in the yellow nursery and the father-to-be says, "honestly boys don't like the color yellow." I think Brad and I were the only ones in the theater laughing outloud. I have to admit it isn't the funniest stand alone line I've ever heard. But I've loved the color yellow since I wore holes in my first yellow nightgown as a kid. My husband didn't blink an eye when I chose my wedding dress to be yellow. In fact he went out and bought me a citrine (yellow) wedding ring. The first room we painted in our house, and the room we love the most, we painted "Torchlight Yellow". In recent months this "yellow" room has been in the process of becoming our nursery for our soon to be little girl or boy (we don't know which!) If it's a girl or a boy we'll hope they enjoy the color yellow. And when they get older if they really don't we'll work with them to find a color more to their liking. My four year old nephew is in the process of negotiating with his parents which shade of purple he can paint his new bedroom! Not surprisingly the yellow room has been balanced out with shades of red and blue, reflecting several Cubs memorbilia already in place. So yellow or Cubbies, as parents we are already making choices for our kid. One of my biggest hopes is that we will be challenging yet flexible parents, encouraging yet always surprised by our childs likes and dislikes as they find their way in the world. If our child grows up to have a healthy self-understanding, a love for God and a generous spirit of giving back, I think those are some of the most important attributes I can pray for...and of course it would be an added bonus if they like the color yellow, too!

Internment Dress Rehearsal

I held ashes against my womb today
as breezy as carrying the newspaper in from outside.

Life and death: life not quite life and death not quite death but resurrection life.

That's the business I'm in,
or the life I've chosen
or the life that's chosen me
both/and, Luther would like that.

Womb and ashes,
each step
each day.

Reflections on John 21:15-19

I have a hard time being an apologetic; reciting scripture to “prove” what God is saying through the Bible. I cling to my Lutheran heritage that relies on the mystery and promises of God. I’ve seen too many liturgical wars, salvation wars, even military wars fought over different interpretations of the Bible, that I feel very uncomfortable claiming TRUTH.
Some might say this makes me a bad pastor. Personally I think I’m in good company—Simon Peter, the Rock, and I have something in common, something I think all of us share--our humanity.
Here’s Rock—the one who gets more prominence than any other of the disciples because he has the loudest mouth. Talk about the squeeky wheel gets the oil, that’s Rock. Rock is always out to prove his faith… I’ll never deny you Jesus! So Jesus says ok—you’re such a Rock are you? We’ll tonight before the cock crows twice you will have denied even knowing me, THREE times.
We’ll lucky for Rock, we serve a forgiving God. A God who not only sees our human sides but made us human—on purpose! So when Jesus comes back to life, he shows up to Rock and instead of shoving it in his face saying—Rock, really? What do you think of me now…. Jesus gently reminds him… THREE times nonetheless who has power over life and death, who is the TRUTH that will se us free, who truly is the ROCK that we build our lives upon. Then Jesus gives Rock another chance. Can you believe it? A second chance to love God, and to serve God’s children, God’s sheep who need direction. God uses the big mouth who denied him publicly to still be the one to spread the Good News.
Jesus calls us to follow. Not to be perfect, not even to be Jesus—but to be ourselves, knowing fully well that means being human.
When I encourage people to follow Jesus, it’s not because I think by doing so their life will be easier, in fact the exact opposite. That’s why I think Christianity is a hard sell. I’ve never used John 21 as a witnessing tool, trying to talk people into church or becoming a follower of Christ. I mean it uses the word “love” three times but it’s anything but lovey dovey.
So it’s not that I don’t believe in Truth. I just think it’s slippery territory claiming truth by picking out texts and saying “I know! I know” Because for every three times I say, “I love you Jesus, you know that I love you” there will be a time when I deny the Truth in my life, when I deny my love for God and seek people’s approval, when I judge others, when I judge myself, when I hate others, when I hate myself… I’m only human.
So what I would rather cling to is Jesus’ words to, “Follow.” I can do that. I can follow. I also try to lead as Jesus equips and empowers me, but most importantly as we serve, as we feed the sheep, we follow. We follow Jesus’ lead. We listen, we care, we have compassion, we see injustice and we burn with anger to change it, we see hurt and we weep finding ways to heal it, we see our own brokenness and we crawl into Jesus’ arms.
Jesus was fully human so I don’t take it as a bad thing to be human—to make mistakes or to need second chances, that’s how God chose to make us. So what I will proclaim, the words I will share, truly believing in my heart, is that I love Jesus. Yes, Lord I love you. I’ll say it three times, ten times, a hundred times, as many times as it takes for God to know I mean it and more importantly for my heart to follow.

I'm just not that generous...

http://www.boldcafe.org/

Here's a "Faith Reflection" I wrote for the May ezine issue of Cafe. If any of you were at Our Saviour's Sunday night Element service-- you might see some good tie-ins. Watch out Rob Bell!

starting over

Last Sunday I preached on Sabbath rest. My colleague Pastor Mark did a great job of summing it up for the Eucharist liturgy by saying, "It's the law to rest." I'm currently reading Kathleen Norris' latest book "Acedia and Me" and I thought she had a great tie-in to the idea of Sabbath. How every week we are called to sabbath, a starting over. She writes, "To be always a beginner, in our competative culture, is to be a loser. It is to remain continually vulnerable...Because it impedes my illusory forward movement, having to begin again can feel like failure. It reminds me that work I thought finished must be redone, and I resent being reminded of the transitory nature of all things...as a person of faith I am always beginning again with prayer. I can never learn these things, once and for all, and master them. I can only perform them, set them aside, and then start over."

Here's to starting over, every Sabbath! To never mastering faith, but finding time to rest in God and start again and again and again.

knowledge is power

Knowledge is power-- I do believe. I know who I can go to when I need help with something. Brad keeps giving my points on baseball, as it's taking me years to learn the ins and out. My dad tells me how to fix things around the house. My mom helps me with cooking tips, history info, being good to myself. My brother Paul helps with my computer confusion and my brother Douglas with....geez almost anything, he's got an opinion on most things! And Liz and Laura are being treasures for mommying and being women in the workforce. And that's just my immediate family! I think from time to time how I'll manage when I don't have one of them to look to for help. There's so much comfort in knowing I have someone to call to help me out, to encourage and support me-- to be proud of me and give me challenge--to give me knowledge that makes me feel empowered to go about my business.
As we gear up to work with the homeless this summer at church, providing housing and meals every Friday night, I think about how they don't have this support system; someone to call for help in reading a legal document, someone who knows how to fix a leaky faucet, someone who knows what spices to add for the big Easter meal. I feel so grateful for my "knowledge base"--aka my family and friends.

Art

"Beauty" is such a limited word in our modern vocabulary and has lost its salt overtime. But there is something true about "beauty" that has nothing to do with manicured fingernails or yards... beauty that enlightens, moves the soul, touches us deep. I don't know if I have ever memorized a poem, I can't think of one offhand. So I'm going to give it a try. I have always admired people who know poetry.. so hear goes...feel free to ask me how it's going.

"I am Like a Kite" by Ellen Porter

I am like a kite
in the hands of God.

She runs with me
holding the string
and blowing
Her sweet breath
into my body
like bellows to fire.

I soar in the
dappled sky blue
laughing my utter delight

and wonder
what will become of me
if the Beloved
gets tired and
runs out of breath

unraveling

In high school I didn't like to wear the color black. The goths wore black, which I presumed their point was to look sinister and death-happy. I was a Christian and wanted to look light and airy. So I wore navy. However black truly is the bedrock of a good wardrobe and these days there is more black in my closet then any other color. In fact my husband will make a surprised face if I bring home anything blue.
For a few months now I've been thinking about darkness and light in the Bible. There are instances of God being discerned in both, but overwhelmingly as "light". Yet the God who can be found in darkness is tugging at me.
A few months ago I read Genesis to refresh my memory of my ancestors in faith. During Lent I read Exodus to help with our church study. And now I'm on to Leviticus which I have never read cover to cover. In lent there were all kinds of words used during our life as church that spoke of "moving out of darkness into the light." There was one song in particular in our Taize service that I couldn't sing because it had this motif (although I loved the Taize as a whole.) I asked myself if I was overreacting, overly sensitive.
I'm a morning person myself. I like the light, the first dawn. Never been much of a "night" person.
But when we still use terms like "Black" and "white" to describe people more often then "African-American" or "caucasion." And talk about the lightness or darkness of someone's skin. And when those same terms, dark and light, come up in our liturgy, even in the Bible, it's been like a thread unwinding in me, slowly but steadily, and I'm not sure what it's unraveling.