Jesus Drives Me Nuts

My spiritual director, Pastor Jan, recommended the book "Gospel Light" by John Shea. As usual, the things she recommends speak to my soul. There's a chapter on John 2:23-3:21 with Nicodemus approaching Jesus for spiritual truths and Jesus ends up talking about where the wind blows. If I had ever met Jesus in person I think he would have driven me nuts. Jesus drives me nuts now, but at least I have time to think through what he's saying. If I had been Nicodemus I would have scrunched up my face at Jesus and been left speechless thinking, "why did I come to this guy? I don't understand a word he's saying..." I ask about eternal life, doing the right thing, how to live in this world, and Jesus talks about where the wind blows. Shea ties it all together by saying, "Hang around people who are Spirit-filled and releasing Spirit into the world...Spirit is contagious. It blows where it will. Get in the way of the wind." I am fascinated and appreciative of these remarks, "Get in the way of the wind." If we want to glimpse the Spirit, get a feel for how she works in the world, then it sounds like good advice to me to hang around people who have a sense of how to look for her. No magical formula there, just hang around people who have experience with the Spirit, who can help point out signs of the Spirit, and Get In The Way of The Wind!

Three Cups of Tea Summer Book Study discussion

So Greg Mortenson says on page 226, "There were few things he loathed more than getting up in front of a large group of people and speaking about himself." I like that in a job he "loves" there are parts of it he hates. Makes me think every job, even the ones "we love," have the parts we would rather not do.

He tells a great story about speaking to an audience of three-- two store employees of an outdoor store and one guy who stopped in for the last half of the talk that he never had a chance to meet. One of the store employees, "fished into his front pocket and handed Mortenson a ten-dollar bill. 'I was going to go out for a couple of beers after work,' he said, shuffling from foot to foot, 'but you know...' 'Thanks,' Mortenson said, sincerely...on the seat of the last chair in the last row...was an envelope...inside was a personal check for twenty-thousand dollars."

Mark 12:41-44
41 (Jesus) sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. 42 A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny. 43 Then he called his disciples and said to them, "Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. 44 For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on."

So did the store employee give more generously with his $10 then the guy with the $20,000?

Motherhood

Someone asked me to today what I am most looking forward to in regards to motherhood. I gave them a pretty truthful answer about it being the right time in our marriage, but what I really wanted to say was -- because of how much I love my husband. My husband is such a gift. He holds my hand. He makes dinner. He walks the dog faithfully. He writes thank you notes, and sympathy cards with carefully crafted words and asks me to sign "right there." He's a blessing to be around and I am looking forward to being around him as a dad. I have not one iota of doubt about his fatherhood skills, and I think having a family with him will be the most wonderful thing. I'm a pastor, I know life isn't picture perfect. I see what tears marriages and families apart. But I also have a sense of what holds them together. And for the past 5 years Brad and I have been building that glue into our marriage with God and family. I'm excited about being a mother because I'm excited about being Brad's wife-- and I know we have so much to offer as a family.

His and Hers

My favorite line from the movie "Juno" is when the prospective adoptive parents are in the yellow nursery and the father-to-be says, "honestly boys don't like the color yellow." I think Brad and I were the only ones in the theater laughing outloud. I have to admit it isn't the funniest stand alone line I've ever heard. But I've loved the color yellow since I wore holes in my first yellow nightgown as a kid. My husband didn't blink an eye when I chose my wedding dress to be yellow. In fact he went out and bought me a citrine (yellow) wedding ring. The first room we painted in our house, and the room we love the most, we painted "Torchlight Yellow". In recent months this "yellow" room has been in the process of becoming our nursery for our soon to be little girl or boy (we don't know which!) If it's a girl or a boy we'll hope they enjoy the color yellow. And when they get older if they really don't we'll work with them to find a color more to their liking. My four year old nephew is in the process of negotiating with his parents which shade of purple he can paint his new bedroom! Not surprisingly the yellow room has been balanced out with shades of red and blue, reflecting several Cubs memorbilia already in place. So yellow or Cubbies, as parents we are already making choices for our kid. One of my biggest hopes is that we will be challenging yet flexible parents, encouraging yet always surprised by our childs likes and dislikes as they find their way in the world. If our child grows up to have a healthy self-understanding, a love for God and a generous spirit of giving back, I think those are some of the most important attributes I can pray for...and of course it would be an added bonus if they like the color yellow, too!

Internment Dress Rehearsal

I held ashes against my womb today
as breezy as carrying the newspaper in from outside.

Life and death: life not quite life and death not quite death but resurrection life.

That's the business I'm in,
or the life I've chosen
or the life that's chosen me
both/and, Luther would like that.

Womb and ashes,
each step
each day.

Reflections on John 21:15-19

I have a hard time being an apologetic; reciting scripture to “prove” what God is saying through the Bible. I cling to my Lutheran heritage that relies on the mystery and promises of God. I’ve seen too many liturgical wars, salvation wars, even military wars fought over different interpretations of the Bible, that I feel very uncomfortable claiming TRUTH.
Some might say this makes me a bad pastor. Personally I think I’m in good company—Simon Peter, the Rock, and I have something in common, something I think all of us share--our humanity.
Here’s Rock—the one who gets more prominence than any other of the disciples because he has the loudest mouth. Talk about the squeeky wheel gets the oil, that’s Rock. Rock is always out to prove his faith… I’ll never deny you Jesus! So Jesus says ok—you’re such a Rock are you? We’ll tonight before the cock crows twice you will have denied even knowing me, THREE times.
We’ll lucky for Rock, we serve a forgiving God. A God who not only sees our human sides but made us human—on purpose! So when Jesus comes back to life, he shows up to Rock and instead of shoving it in his face saying—Rock, really? What do you think of me now…. Jesus gently reminds him… THREE times nonetheless who has power over life and death, who is the TRUTH that will se us free, who truly is the ROCK that we build our lives upon. Then Jesus gives Rock another chance. Can you believe it? A second chance to love God, and to serve God’s children, God’s sheep who need direction. God uses the big mouth who denied him publicly to still be the one to spread the Good News.
Jesus calls us to follow. Not to be perfect, not even to be Jesus—but to be ourselves, knowing fully well that means being human.
When I encourage people to follow Jesus, it’s not because I think by doing so their life will be easier, in fact the exact opposite. That’s why I think Christianity is a hard sell. I’ve never used John 21 as a witnessing tool, trying to talk people into church or becoming a follower of Christ. I mean it uses the word “love” three times but it’s anything but lovey dovey.
So it’s not that I don’t believe in Truth. I just think it’s slippery territory claiming truth by picking out texts and saying “I know! I know” Because for every three times I say, “I love you Jesus, you know that I love you” there will be a time when I deny the Truth in my life, when I deny my love for God and seek people’s approval, when I judge others, when I judge myself, when I hate others, when I hate myself… I’m only human.
So what I would rather cling to is Jesus’ words to, “Follow.” I can do that. I can follow. I also try to lead as Jesus equips and empowers me, but most importantly as we serve, as we feed the sheep, we follow. We follow Jesus’ lead. We listen, we care, we have compassion, we see injustice and we burn with anger to change it, we see hurt and we weep finding ways to heal it, we see our own brokenness and we crawl into Jesus’ arms.
Jesus was fully human so I don’t take it as a bad thing to be human—to make mistakes or to need second chances, that’s how God chose to make us. So what I will proclaim, the words I will share, truly believing in my heart, is that I love Jesus. Yes, Lord I love you. I’ll say it three times, ten times, a hundred times, as many times as it takes for God to know I mean it and more importantly for my heart to follow.

I'm just not that generous...

http://www.boldcafe.org/

Here's a "Faith Reflection" I wrote for the May ezine issue of Cafe. If any of you were at Our Saviour's Sunday night Element service-- you might see some good tie-ins. Watch out Rob Bell!